he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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