Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
