Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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