What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
