Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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