and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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