Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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