Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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