Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
