I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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