flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
As shirtless as possible
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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