Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
