I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize