saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
