you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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