but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
