Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
