new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
