Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
