Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Dear god my vagina.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize