as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
we're so committed to being not committed
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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