she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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