my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
