Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
