I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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