i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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