I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
