God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
