I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize