Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
