its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
