My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
