Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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