Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
