Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
