I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
