If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
