I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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