i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
