we're chasing vodka with high fives
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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