Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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