some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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