haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I have post one night stand depression
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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