I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
