why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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