I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
