Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
