Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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