Swine flu. Run for my life!
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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