I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
