so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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