You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
