i permit you to call me
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
