Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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