i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
