She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
