Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
