Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
