She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
