so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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