how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Randomize
