there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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