I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
