Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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