Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize