Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
