: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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