How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
