I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
